Real Me
by I'm Not The Weakest Link
Summary: Harry Potter goes back to Hogwarts for his fifth year, and finds out a huge secret that changes his life. Suprises, arguments and fights, are just some of the things which makes this his most awkward year. Will Harry be able to find the strength to fight
1. Default Chapter

The Real Me

Summary: Harry Potter goes back to Hogwarts for his fifth year, and finds out a huge secret that changes his life. Suprises, arguments and fights, are just some of the things which makes this his most awkward year. Will Harry be able to find the strength to fight Lord Voldemort and his loyal Death Eaters?

The dungeons of Hogwarts were always very cold. It had large grey stones, and a chilly wind always seemed to occupy the large rooms. Rows after rows of shelves had jars on them, with ingredients of Potions trapped in them. In a room marked Prof. Severus Snape, was less cold than the others, but still had an icy grip on it. The room had a long balck leather couch against the back wall. A large bed, which had a duvet cover, which had a large coiling picture of a Snake on it, was pressed up against the left wall. A large desk wich had a neat stack of parchment on it.

In his desk drawer, where an arrortment of pictures, a lot of them from his child hood. Severus was fond of looking at these, whenever he got the chance. Pictures of his mother and father (whom he hated) his sister Saffron, and his best friends. There were a good few pictures of Severus, when he was young.

The owner of the room was currently storming down the dungeons corridors. His large black cloak was billowing out behind him, giving off a dark, menacing look. He passed a couple of third year Hufflepuffs, and snarled at them. They backed against the wall in fear, and watched his retreating back. His office door was opened, and he made his way through the other set of doors, into his Living Quarters.

He sat down at the leather chair in front of his desk. He had just been to see Dumbeldore, who had told him that Remus Lupin was returning to teach the Defence Against the Dark Arts classes, because the other teacher Professor Gerel, had only lasted a week, and had gone missing.

He pulled open his draw and pulled out the very thick wad of photograhps. The draw was full of them, and he liked to pull out some at a time, which he did when he was angry.

The first photo was of him, and his sister Saffron, wearing there Slytherin robes, woth there brooms behind them. His hair was to his chin then, and was scowling at the camera. His sister on the other hand, was laughing and waving to the camera. She had her long black hair tied back in a pony-tail.

He pulled out the next photo, of him and Lucius Malfoy. Malfoy was wearing his trade mark smirk (who he had passed onto his son, Draco). His long blonde hair was to his shoulders. Severus was smirking as well.

Severus then pulled out the next photo. His eyes softened as he looked at it. It was Lily Potter, standing in the snow, waving at the camera. She was giggling, and her dark red hair was whipping around in the air.

Severus remembered that they had been really good friends. She had been sorted into Slytherin. She also had had her and Severus's son. Harry Potter.

* * *

"I can't believe you still haven't told him," Remus said, a vague tone of disbelief coloring his tone. Severus whirled to glare at him angrily, lips pulled back from clenched teeth.  
  
"Told who what? I haven't he slightest idea what you're on about…" Severus growled, but was cut off by a sharp returned gaze from Remus.  
  
"You know very well who and what I mean, Severus. It's been fifteen years…he has a right to know you."  
  
"Know me?! Why in the hell does he have a right to know me? For all I know, he's not even mine!" Snape yelled, and turned to stalk away. He knew very well that Remus was right, and that he was lying.

Remus, however, latched tightly onto his shoulder and forced him to stay his ground. "Let me go, werewolf." He growled, but Remus kept his grip. For a moment, he didn't say anything, his expression shifting between concern and disbelief.  
  
"He IS yours, Severus. Surely you knew that…"  
  
"I knew of the possibility, but nothing more." Snape replied, though the tone of his voice clearly said otherwise.  
  
"Then why didn't you find out?! He could have grown up without all the lies…"  
  
"Oh, yes indeed. As if I would just pop up on his doorstep and admit to sleeping with his mother, oh I'm SURE that would go over well."  
  
"Well, you've never seemed to worry about other's reactions to you before. You've got to TELL him! He'll probably find out on his own eventually, and just imagine what a mess that would be…."  
  
"Not anymore of one than if I WERE to tell him. Can you imagine what would happen were he to know? ME?! His FATHER?! You can't honestly expect that he'd be happy in the least. I am not the type of person that can be a father."  
  
"Oh, so that's it…"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You don't think you're worthy…"  
  
"I'll be astounded if you can think of anyone LESS worthy. I was a Death Eater, Remus, I've done more evil than I can rightly remember…I'm not worthy of being ANYONE'S parent, and besides, I wouldn't even know how. And how do you think he would feel? You obviously have taken a liking to him, what do you think it would do to him if he were to discover that his real father was a murderer? A conscienceless follower of the Dark Lord? A cruel, bitter teacher hated by the entire school? It'd break him, I've no doubt that it would."  
  
"Then that just proves that you need to get to know him."  
  
"Why, whatever do you mean?"  
  
"Tell me…why ARE you always on his case? Why is it that you always single him out for ridicule?"  
  
"Simple. To teach him a lesson. Everyone else here, you included, tend to treat him like some high-and-mighty savior of the wizarding world. Half of the people who claim to be his friends would turn on him in an instant if his 'heroic' image were to be tarnished. He's got to learn to fend for himself out there, one way or another. If I don't break him of the spoiled lifestyle he probably enjoys at home, who will? You? Dumbledore? I highly doubt it."  
  
"I thought that might be your reason."  
  
"What? You'd better not even consider criticizing me for my methods, for I assure you, there's plenty I could say about yours."  
  
"Have you heard about the Dursleys at all? The muggle family he lives with?"  
  
"Of course not. If you'll remember correctly, I was comatose when he was placed with them, and I don't tend to bother with 'gossip.'"  
  
"I've noticed. Either way, you wouldn't have learned anything more. Harry doesn't like to talk about them at all, I'm afraid I found out rather by accident…"  
  
"Found out what?"  
  
"Have you ever seen Harry getting mail in the Great Hall? Or going home for the Christmas holidays?"  
  
"No, but I hardly see what that has to do with anything…"  
  
"Severus, the first day of classes I asked him to stay after the lesson. I'd noticed he was looking ill, and I wanted to ask what was wrong. He was VERY reluctant to tell me, but after I slipped a little calming potion in his tea, he eventually gave in and told me some of what had happened."  
  
"Go on…"  
  
"His uncle beats him, Severus; quite often, in fact. As it turned out, he had a pair of cracked ribs, as well as severe bruising across his chest and back. I cornered Mr. Ron Weasley to find out more about the Dursley's, and I daresay it isn't pleasant. Evidently, they weren't even going to let him come to school this year. I suppose it was a lucky thing that I showed up…Anyway, one year, Weasley and his brothers had to actually break him out of that house as if it were a prison, bars on his window and everything."  
  
"What?! Impossible…Dumbledore wouldn't allow him to stay in a place like that…"  
  
"Dumbledore doesn't know about it. Harry's too proud and ashamed to tell him, and I imagine he doesn't want any more attention drawn to him, either. He made me promise not to tell a soul after I found out, and I've kept that promise until now. I tried to get him to tell Dumbledore, but I'm afraid he's just as stubborn as you."  
  
"They …beat him? Why? He's their blood, surely they didn't…."  
  
"The Dursleys hate magic, Severus. You didn't know Lily as well as I did, but I'm sure you heard her mention Petunia?"  
  
"Once or twice, and never with pleasure."  
  
"Yes, well Petunia hated Lily above and beyond a simple sibling rivalry…she thought Lily was a freak. Once they no longer had to live in the same house, Petunia severed all relations with her sister. She's carried that hate on to Harry, and her husband is the same way. Harry had to sleep locked in a broom closet for eleven years."  
  
"Remus, you are coming with me to see Albus this instant, I'll not allow that…that FAMILY to ever…"  
  
"No."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Tell Harry."  
  
"I can't, you know that!"  
  
"He's your SON, Severus."  
  
"I'm aware of that…"  
  
"Then say it, admit it out loud."  
  
"Fine. Harry is my son. Now, can we please get on with it? I may not wish that fact to be known, but I will NOT stand for ANYONE mistreating him."  
  
"And how, precisely, do you think he sees YOUR behavior toward him and all the Gryffindors?"  
  
"That is different. I have no choice, as long as Voldemort lives and I retain my title as 'spy.'"  
  
"Yes, but you could always let him know that….let him know YOU."  
  
"Oh, so we're back on that again, are we?"  
  
"It's the only way you can keep him safe from the Dursleys….by telling him the truth."  
  
"As I've already said, No. WE will inform Albus of the…abuse, and nothing more."  
  
"If we tell Dumbledore, he will remove Harry from that house. Harry will have no choice but to go to an orphanage or a temporary care facility. Now, imagine what that would do to him….he's already got more than enough in common with the Dark Lord, how do you think he'd react to yet another?"  
  
"Surely no worse than if I talked to him."  
  
"I doubt that, Severus. I will make you a deal. If you agree to tell Harry and Dumbledore the truth, then I will come with you right now to talk to him about the Dursleys."  
  
"But then Albus would send him to live with ME. I couldn't do that Remus, I'd be worse than the Dursleys…"  
  
"No you wouldn't. You've never hit a student, and I know for a fact that all that yelling you do is just an act. You only need to give yourself a chance, and spare your son another summer of beatings."  
  
"Very well…."  
  
"Promise and swear that you will tell Harry, and soon."  
  
"I promise that I will tell…Harry…the truth before christmas. Are you happy now?"  
  
"Yes, but you understand that I am not doing this for 'me.' I'm doing this for Harry…and for you."  
  
"Me?"  
  
"Yes. You have a son, Severus. You have as much right to know him as he does you. You're both the only real family either of you has."  
  
"I'd have to agree with you on the last…but can we please get on with it? I'd like to tell Albus and get this whole thing over with as soon as possible, I'm sure he'll have plenty to say."  
  
"He won't be ashamed of you, you know that."  
  
"Yes…but then he doesn't have to be."


	2. Finding Out

Harry James Potter woke up on a bright Saturday morning, and stretched. He smiled happily. It was a lesson-free day. He burrowed under his duvet, and tried to go asleep. He felt his eyes closing when a loud tapping noise. His eyes shot open, and he angrily opend the window, where an unfamiliar owl was standing, hooting impatiently.

Harry took the envelope of its legs, and looked at who it was adressed to.

Harry Potter.

Harry ripped it open, and looked at the short note.

Potter,

Meet me at the statue of Uric the Oddball, on the west side of the grounds. It's important.

Prof. Snape.

Harry stared at it curiously.

Snape wanted to talk to him?

He pulled on a grenn jumper and a pair of jeans. He pulled on a cloak as well. He looked in the mirror. He had chjanged a lot this year. He had long hair which went to his chin. He had high cheek bones, and his eyes were slanting slightly. He left the dormitory and Common Room. He passed the Great Hall, (where he could smell bacon, and almost went in, before he carried on outside). He passed the Green houses, until he found the statue of Uric the Oddball. Snape was leaning on it, and no body else was around.

Harry walked up to him, and nodded. Snape did nothing, and there was an awkward silence. A few minutes passed, until Snape spoke.

"You've changed this year."

"Er…yes. It started around my birthday….I'm not sure what to make of it."

"It's nothing to worry about, too much at least."

"D'you know what is it?"

"A spell, likely cast by yourself when you were just a baby. It's not all that uncommon. You wanted to know your father; therefore…you became him. Fifteen is often a pivotal age...it's not surprising that it would wear off now."

"So you mean that all these years I've only looked like my father because I wanted to?"

"Yes."

"So…I'll look more like my mum, then?"

"Perhaps. Harry, there is something that I must tell you…the reason I brought you out here…"

"Excuse me, Professor…but did you just call me by my first name?"

"Yes…and I suppose I must make a few things clear before I continue."

"Alright…"

"First off…I wish to apologize. The way I act in the classroom, towards you especially, is not the way I am; it hasn't been for a long time, anyway. I behave the way I do because of the Slytherins…I'm sure that you're aware that many of their parents are Death Eaters?"

"Yes...I know of a few."

"As far as they know, I am a loyal Death Eater. As long as I am needed as a spy, I must keep up my act. All Death Eaters are expected to despise Gryffindor and Muggleborns, and you especially for what you did to Voldemort. If I were to show leniency, any at all….my loyalty would be questioned. In reality, I can't stand that brat Malfoy…he's just as bigheaded and pompous as his father. And you…I don't hate you. As of yet, you won't understand why, but…you bring up many painful memories for me, as well as a lot of other issues that I'm still trying to deal with. Therefore…I am sorry, Harry. I should have told you that it was an act, and nothing more."

"That…that's alright, Professor. You've told me now."

"I appreciate that, Harry…but I'm sure you won't feel that way in a minute. I'm sure you're not fond of all the secrets that have been kept from you over the years…"

"No, I'm not…it always seems like everybody else knows more about me than I do."

"Yes, and I'm afraid I didn't know that until recently. I always thought that you grew up with full knowledge of who you were, of what you did. I assumed you'd been spoiled by your aunt and uncle, placed high on some pedestal like so many seem to do. But now I know differently….Remus told me about what they did to you,"

"He...he told?! But, he promised that he wouldn't…"

"He kept his promise well, Harry…he had good reason to tell me,"

"You haven't…told anyone else, have you?"

"Dumbledore knows, but that is all."

"Oh….I suppose I'll be…staying at some orphanage now…."

"No, you won't be. I made a deal with Remus after he told me, Harry. I agreed to tell you a …rather large secret, if he promised to tell Dumbledore about the abuse,"

"What is it?"

"First you must promise me that you won't run off, and you'll hear me out,"

"Okay…I promise."

"Thank you. Now I'm quite sure you'll hate me even more than you already do after this…but you must be told the truth. About fifteen years ago Voldemort sent me on a mission to steal something from James Potter, and Dumbledore instructed me to do what I must in order to appear loyal to the Dark Lord. So…I waited until I knew James would be gone for a few days, and used Polyjuice to disguise myself as him. I snuck into his and your mother's home, only to discover that the item I'd been sent to fetch had gone along with James. As I was leaving…your mother found me, and, believing me to be James, she…asked me to bed with her. We slept together that night, Harry."

"You...and my mum…did that?!"

"Yes…The next morning as I was trying to slip away, as I'd run out of polyjuice, Remus Lupin discovered me. Unfortunately, he quite easily figured out what had gone on between Lily and I, and was hell-bent on telling both Lily and James about it. However, I…threatened to tell his secret, and he agreed to keep quiet about it. He allowed me to leave after that, and I saw him again a few weeks later. He told me that he had waited around for Lily to wake up after I left, to make sure she was alright…and she wasn't. A few weeks later she was ill. She was pregnant…with you."

"What…? I mean…no, that can't be….James…"

"...never knew about it, and neither did your mother."

"But…if that's true, then that means that…that…you're my father."

"Yes, it does,"

"H-how do you know? For sure? I mean…surely someone would have…"

"I know because there is no way that you could not be. Looking at you, now especially, I can see little pieces of myself. Your position in Quidditch, some of your attitudes and expressions…they all remind me of myself when I was your age. And before you argue that it could be coincidence, I did have a test performed, so that I'd know for sure. I was able to acquire a sample of your blood during your last stay in the hospital wing. I gave it, along with a sample of my own blood, to Poppy to test. You are my son, Harry, the test proved that beyond a doubt."

"But…why didn't anyone tell me sooner? Why was I…"

"I thought that you would be better off living with the muggles. After the fall of Voldemort, I was hospitalized during the time you were being delivered to the Dursleys. Afterward, I was imprisoned for a short time while I was put on trial for my association with the Dark Lord. When I was finally freed, I thought that you'd be better off surrounded by family and with a memory of Lily and James, than you would be with me, a former 'dark' wizard. If you had grown up knowing about me, you would have been ridiculed about your birth, assaulted with questions. I was afraid…I didn't, and still don't, have the slightest idea on how to be a father. I was terrified that I would mess up, that something would happen to you if I were to claim you as my son. I am sorry that you had to grow up with those…people, and that you've lived with yet another lie. I should have checked up on you, and I should have found out how they were treating you, taken you out of that place…"

"It's…okay. Don't worry about it. I'll forgive you all that if you promise me one thing."

"What?"

"Promise me that I'll never have to go back to the Dursleys, or go to an orphanage or anything like that."

"I promise that you'll never have to see those people ever again. You could stay with me for the holiday, if you wish."

"Okay, I think I'd…like that." "God...you're my father…I have a father…."

"Harry, I'd better get you back to the castle now. I know it's an awful lot to take in, but I'd like to talk to you again tomorrow, if that is alright."

"Yes…that sounds like a good idea."

There was a knock on Severus Snapes door.

''Come in.'' answered Snape shortly.

A very shabby Remus Lupin walked in.

''Have you told him?'' Remus asked.

''Yes. This morning. he took it better than I thought he would. He was shocked, of course, who wouldn't be, and he's coming here tommorow to talk things through.''

''Good. We need to talk to Dumbledore. I hope things work out OK. Good Luck.'' Lupin said.

Snape nodded and pulled on his cloak.


	3. Talking and Telling

Chapter Three: Talking and Telling

"Good evening Remus, Severus. What can I help you with?"

"Actually, there are two matters of importance that we need to discuss."

"Yes?"

"Do you want to go first, Severus?"

"No, it would be best if you did."

"Very well. Headmaster…earlier in the semester I made a startling discovery concerning Harry Potter….he made me promise not to tell anyone about it, but I feel that I must."

"What is it? He's not getting into any sort of trouble, is he?"

"No…actually it's more in regards to the Dursley family. When he came to class the first day back from summer holiday, he was not looking well, so I held him after class to see what was the matter. After giving him a calming potion, I finally found out what was wrong."

"What on earth was it?"

"His Uncle beats him, Headmaster. When Harry came to class, he had several broken ribs and horrible bruises, all carefully hidden by his robes. According to Mr. Weasley, he's also been malnourished and imprisoned, not to mention a probable load of other mistreatments."

"Your convinced that this story is true?"

"Oh yes, Poppy can confirm the injuries if you like. And the information wasn't exactly given willingly."

"Something must be done at once….the Dursleys must be spoken with immediately, and some sort of arrangement made for Harry for the summer holiday….I honestly can't believe that Harry has never said anything…"

"He's probably ashamed, Albus…he can't be blamed for that."

"Yes, and probably scared of what would happen were he to be taken from his only remaining family….undoubtedly he'll have to be placed in an orphanage, unless the Ministry would agree to letting him stay here…"

"Actually, Headmaster, that brings us to the second topic." Remus cast a glance at Severus, who nodded slowly, "You see, The Dursleys aren't Harry's only surviving relatives." Lupin said

"Pardon? According to the records, all of the Evans and Potter family are dead."

"The records are correct on that point, but wrong on another. Albus, James Potter was not Harry's father," Severus said.

"Then…who is?"

"I am,"

"What? How is this possible?"

"Do you remember that last mission Voldemort sent me on, in November of 1980?"

"Yes, I do…and I gave you permission to do what was necessary to convince the Dark Lord."

"When I arrived at the Potter home in the disguise of James Potter, I discovered that my reason for being there had already been removed, as James had taken the result of his work with him. However, before I could leave…Lily found me, and…. Forgive me, Albus, but…I did. As I was trying to slip away the next morning, Remus found me lurking about, and deduced what had happened. I rather…blackmailed him into not telling anyone. As he later told me, Lily was slightly ill a few weeks later….she was pregnant; with Harry. Lily never discovered that it hadn't been James."

"Have you spoken to him?"

"Yes. He took it well. Were talking tomorrow night.''

"Merlin….You're Harry's father….I always thought there was something about you two…"

"I fathered him, Albus, but I'd hardly consider myself a father."

"Maybe not now, Severus, but you'll learn easily enough. At least Harry won't have to go to an orphanage now…"

"Yes…and I do hope that the ends are worth the means."

Harry Potter stared at his best friends. They were sitting impatiently, waiting for him to talk. Harry had told them to meet them in the Common Room, so that he could tell them the news.

He took a deep breath, and blurted out:

''ProfessorSnapeismyfather.''

Hermione and Ron, even though he had said it really fast, had heard.

''What?'' asked Ron, his mouth hanging slightly open. Hermione looked confused as well, for once, and looked at him quizzicly.

''Snape...is my dad.''

Hermione just looked at him.

''Snape...is your _dad_?''

Harry nodded worridley. Even they had noticed he had been changing, but this was to weird. Harry started to explain what Snape had told him.

When he had finished, Ron was looking more shocked than ever, and Hermione had looked like she had realized something. Then she opened her mouth and asked.

''So- is that why you've been changing?'' she asked.

Harry nodded.

Ron then decided to speak:

''So, you have a dad- alive?''

Harry nodded again.

''Guys, I know it's _really_ weird. I'm still shocked, and a little angry. I mean, all my life I've this one peson, and now, I'm another?! And I'm Professor _Snapes son?_ It just doesn't seem...right. Only becuase I've only just found out. I mean, he had fifthteen _years_ to tell Dumbledore. I could have lived with out he Dursleys. I could have lived in a good, safe home, but _no._ I have to live with them, being there slave, being called freak, not being near anyone who I'm friends with-''

Ron and Hermione started to see he was getting angrier. They tried to calm him, but her just carried on talking.

''And espically this year. I broke a few ribs, got beated, but did he say ANYTHING to ANYONE?! NO!''

Ron and Hermione watched as he stormed up to his dormitory, slamming the door behind him.

The next morning, Harry woke up feeling a bit calmer than the night before. But he was still angry. He pulled on his cape, and wnet to his lessons. Ron and Hermione were quiet that morning, still in shock from the night before, and lessons went smoothly, (with some homework form Professor Flitwick and McGonagall. After his lessons, he went to Professor Snape, his fathers room, and knocked.

AN: Well, I'll leave it there for now. Thanks Kathryn Black, you comment is greatly apprecieted. 


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